nentindo:

gf: come over :)

me, professional wrestling promoter, Vince McMahon: i can’t

gf: i’ll have sex with you

me, professional wrestling promoter, Vince McMahon:

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movie theaters are actually really cute like a bunch of strangers come together to watch a movie together with snacks and candy and laughing and crying aw good job movie theaters i see what you did there

(Source: superlouis)

gnarly:

if tumblr were to ever shut down:

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missyay:

nazerine:

excessivecompulsive:

nazerine:

the anti vaccination movement basically consists of random people with no knowledge of medicine going “I can medicine better than doctors” and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t literally killing people

you dont need vaccines, I havent had any and Im still doing great

wow, what a compelling argument. you’ve got me

in other news, i am still alive therefore death must be a myth

deucebowl:

she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere

(Source: deucebasket)

fartgallery:

4/20? You mean 1/5 reduce your fractions did you even learn math